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Lessons I’ve Learned About Supporting a Friend With Depression

Dear Past Self,

You have a certain idea about what “depression” looks like. You imagine someone dressed in black and staring at the floor, or maybe someone binge drinking alone in a messy apartment. You think of depression as something other, something that doesn’t happen to people you know, people you care about. This isn’t your fault—your whole life, the 1990’s/early 2000’s media has portrayed depression as something distant, something extreme, something easily recognizable that doesn’t affect most people (when they talk about it at all, which is also rare).

Media Portrayal of Depression

 

In reality, Past Self, depression actually does affect most people: even those who don’t struggle with depression likely have a friend or family member that does:

Reality

 

Moreover, Past Self, despite what you’ve been led to believe, depression does not all look the same. It comes in thousands of different forms.

Sometimes, depression can look like having fun.

 

Sometimes, depression can look like apathy:

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Posted on by TheOverthinker

Lessons I’ve Learned About Supporting an Anxious Friend (With Pictures)

Dear Past Self,

As you are probably already aware, you have many people who struggle with anxiety in your life. For some, that anxiety is a chronic challenge; for others, it only flares up in unusual circumstances.

Being a friend to someone who is going through an anxious period can feel challenging.  I hope that some of the learnings I’ve picked up in this arena can help you be a more effective support system for your anxious friend.

Of course, the first step in supporting someone dealing with anxiety is to acknowledge that their anxiety is real. This should go without saying, but because of the world we live in, I will say it anyway:

When somebody says they are feeling seriously anxious or panicking, believe them. 

No, they are not making it up.*  No, they are not just being “dramatic.”

 

IMG_2402

 

Once you acknowledge your friend’s anxiety is real, it can be hard to know what to do or say. It’s easy to feel like you’ve said or done the wrong thing.

The truth is, Past Self, there isn’t always one “right thing” to say to someone struggling with anxiety. But over the years, I’ve learned that there are definitely some things you should avoid.

For example: when somebody tells you they’re feeling anxious it’s easy to get freaked out. Unfortunately, this freaking out in front of an already-anxious person is rarely helpful:

 

IMG_2401

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Posted on by TheOverthinker

How To Deal With The World When It Goes Crazy (With Pictures)

Dear Past Self,

I wish I could tell you that here, in the future, everything is rainbows and unicorns and perfectly seasoned guacamole. Unfortunately, the world is not like that. Crazy things will happen in your lifetime: there’ll be natural disasters and political disasters, terrorism and nationalism, murder videos on live t.v. and towns without drinking water.

When these events happen, Past Self, it can feel overwhelming. Sometimes the state of the world can be so stressful that it makes you want to curl up in a bed and not come out.

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Posted on by TheOverthinker