Dear Past Self,
As you are probably already aware, you have many people who struggle with anxiety in your life. For some, that anxiety is a chronic challenge; for others, it only flares up in unusual circumstances.
Being a friend to someone who is going through an anxious period can feel challenging. I hope that some of the learnings I’ve picked up in this arena can help you be a more effective support system for your anxious friend.
Of course, the first step in supporting someone dealing with anxiety is to acknowledge that their anxiety is real. This should go without saying, but because of the world we live in, I will say it anyway:
When somebody says they are feeling seriously anxious or panicking, believe them.
No, they are not making it up.* No, they are not just being “dramatic.”
Once you acknowledge your friend’s anxiety is real, it can be hard to know what to do or say. It’s easy to feel like you’ve said or done the wrong thing.
The truth is, Past Self, there isn’t always one “right thing” to say to someone struggling with anxiety. But over the years, I’ve learned that there are definitely some things you should avoid.
For example: when somebody tells you they’re feeling anxious it’s easy to get freaked out. Unfortunately, this freaking out in front of an already-anxious person is rarely helpful:
