Dear Past Self,
A few years ago, I realized that Fear was holding me back from achieving my goals. Not because I’d had any particularly horrible experiences–I wasn’t traumatized by an attacked, or deathly afraid of spiders, or trapped on a reality t.v. show. But I realized that my average, everyday fears were preventing me fro doing some of the things I wanted in life. So I made a New Year’s Resolution to face my fears. I figured I would face my fears, conquer them, and then walk into the sunset of my happier, more fulfilling life.
Looking back, though, I think I was thinking about fear all wrong.
See, I used to think of fear as a giant monster, one standing in the way. Like most people, I thought that facing fear was a matter of standing up to this enormous monster and conquering it in order to get what I wanted.
The Fear Monster
*For those who don’t know, turtle farts smell really bad.
However, after spending some time facing my fears, I began to realize that fear wasn’t a gigantic, poorly-drawn monster terrorizing my brain. Fear doesn’t always strike is obvious ways. Usually, Fear is more subtle. Instead of terrible, horrific strikes, fear often presents itself as calm, rational, even friendly. It’s less like a raging monster and more like a friendly fairy.
Yes, a fairy.