Dear Past Self,
I know it may be tough to hear this, but somebody has to break the news: you are not a party person.
I know. Take a breath. Sit down. Eat a bowl of guacamole. Then read it again.
You are not a party person.
How do I know this? Well, because I’ve been to a party Past Self. In fact, I’ve been to quite a few of them. And while you may be good at some things, I have ample evidence to prove that parties are just not your strong suit.
For one thing, unlike normal humans, you have a tough time socializing with other people when there is food present.